Best Mother's Day... Ever!

I've been a mom for 16 years now, which means a rollercoaster of Mother's Day experiences. One forgotten, one horribly over the top to make up for the forgotten, a few obviously almost forgotten, and many spent taking care of someone else's mother.

This year goes down as my idea of the perfect Mother's Day.

I was shooed out of the house late morning with my bicycle, after presentation of kid-made cards & art projects. Came home to a basket of folded laundry, two freshly scrubbed dogs, and dinner being pulled off the grill.

It was a beautiful sunny day. A bit windy on the way out, but that just made for a good workout for the first half of the ride, and a super speedy return trip.

Just me, audiobook version of "The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe", and miles of lovely trail.

I want to pee alone.

(I may type it as seen above, but I say it with the accent... a lot.)

Is that really so much to want in life?

I know it's not just me. It's probably the lament of every mother on the planet.

When the kids are home, I'm constantly shooing them out of the bathroom doorway, only to have them continue talking to me through the bathroom door. It's not like they're with me every moment of the day - I'm not even sure how they get to the bathroom door. It must be a bit like telephone calls - kids spidey senses let them know I'm about to be unavailable for a minute or two, which causes them to race in my general direction.

It is not just the younger kids who excel at this. My teen has been known to text or call me with some minor question from the basement playroom - lazy teen isn't a stereotype for nothing - at the very moment I start walking toward the bathroom.

When the children aren't home it's the dogs. They'll follow me right in. If I shut the door, they'll lie down on the other side, making a 130-lb expanse of canines to climb over three minutes later.

And, today... children are playing video games. Dogs are napping by their feet, worn out from playing outside. I head down the hall, walk into the bathroom, turn

to shut the door...

... and in rolls Annabeth, my daughter's teddy bear hamster.

...sigh...

Going [a little bit] Green

Had this post typed up several days ago, and became totally sidetracked on the way to posting. Granted, the project (request for vampire bunny, ala bunnicula) which derailed me ended up being run off track by a 2-day migraine from hell... but that's another post.

During my quest for things to keep my hands busy during TV viewing - of which I do entirely too much - I came across sweater repurposing & felting, through a link someone posted to Betz White's blog.

I read some of her posts, and the reviews of her book Sewing Green, then popped over to Borders to pick up a copy for myself.

I'm not generally one to get all warm & fuzzy about recycling, but this particular sort of Green was something which got my attention. This is Grandma's (or Great-Grandma's) way of doing things - use it up, wear it out, and then find another way to put the parts to use. The items White makes are generally useful, and they actually look presentable. Not the sloppy DIY repurposing I often see... great that they're trying, but I'd not want to be seen in public with it.

There are a few general sewing projects from the book I'll be readying for summer, such as the pool bag, which I'll be making from fabric placemats and a towel with the dog-chewed corner. And the cashmere dog & rabbit, if I can ever convince my daughter to give back the cable-knit cream sweater she snatched out of my stash. (She loves that the grownup sweaters shrink to her size in the wash. It's becoming an issue, since my 10-year old has also discovered the joys of a really good merino wool and started pilfering felted men's sweaters. I'm hoping the 80-95 degree days coming up will put a stop to it.)

I've picked through our closets & drawers for a few outgrown, stained, worn out wool sweaters, and have also picked up a few at Goodwill. There are a couple of projects in mind that will take a while - to find the right combo of colors - but I love that I'm able to snag the sweaters off the rack no one wants, and for $1-2 a piece, since the damaged sweaters always sit around long enough for the full price drop. (The red sweater - 100% wool, great quality, had two small holes and a snag in the sleeve - $1.80 at Goodwill.)

That's not to say I'm stockpiling for no reason. There are already a few completed projects:

A heart shaped purse, made for DD's valentine from less than half of the red sweater (above):

And this adorable little hedgehog, made from an ink stained sweater from the back of my own closet and the leftover felt scraps from a school project (free!):

This one is DD's, along with the inflatable flamingo from her birthday party, and the Alice-like dress & apron, made from blue shirts and leftover white muslin. I'll be making a second hedgehog next week, as I prep teacher gifts for the end of the school year. (B2's teacher has a hedgehog as class pet.)

Yep. I'm environmentally conscious alright. Except it's for reasons that have more to do with "fun on a budget," nifty DIY and challenging our creativity, and less to do with worrying about the oceans boiling.

Invasion of the 3rd graders

There were moments today when I didn't think I'd make it through the day. At times, it was the ever-increasing chaos of 18 nine-year-olds in one place... and the a few times I was hoping for the ground to open and swallow me up. This is the biggest batch of kidlets I've hosted at once. Sent 20 invitations, figuring it would be the normal 5-10 that would RSVP. We had 17, plus my three children. Here's what I learned:

The work it takes to handle children's birthday parties increases at an alarming rate with each additional child... especially when you get into double digits. Look, I've made this handy-dandy, super scientific chart:

Choosing food was easy. Carrots & celery with ranch dip, apples, grapes, cookies & cream hershey's kisses, red and blue jugs of hawaiian punch, bottles of water, and... cupcakes.

The Alice in Wonderland theme made goody bags easy:

• Reusable bottles, with "Drink Me" tags attached.
• Containers filled with variety of Skittles (regular, sour & crazy core), with "Eat Me" tags. (Normally would have gone with M&Ms, but I was prepped for a child with peanut allergies.)

Activities were a little harder, as I wasn't sure until Saturday how many children were coming, or what my girl/boy mix would be. Plus, third graders are at a funny age. They consider themselves too old for many party games, but they don't want to just "hang out" like the big kids. I had a couple of things in reserve, but we ended up not needing backup, since there was a good bit of random running and flinging of water from bottles in between the three main planned games.

• Croquet. Small group, while kids were still arriving, and most of the others were chasing down DD's big brother (he's such a great sport).
• Balloon Pop - Tag. Tied balloons to everyone's ankles, and let them work out a strange boys vs. girls thing, which I never quite understood, since the prize went to the last person with an unpopped balloon. (This is the perfect game for that age, by the way. It combines two favorite activities - running and stomping balloons.)
• Painting the Roses Red. In hindsight, I think I'd hand out red stickers if I did this again. If you placed bets on how long it would take the kids to start painting each other instead of the rosebush... well, let's just say it happened sooner than I expected.

I am so very glad we had the big party for DD's birthday, but I am even happier that she let me know she'd like a girl's-only thing with pizza, movies & pedicures next year. A sleepover such as she described will put us much lower on the chaos curve.

Back to normal

The suspiciously agreeable kidlets have returned to their regularly scheduled bickering. Didn't even have to wait until after the requested trip to see the beautiful cars. They started in on each other before we made it through the first five cars.

As for the exhibit... Wow.

My kids are up to something.

I'm not sure what my trio is planning, but something is in the works. How do I know this? They are getting along.

We're most of the way through spring break. They should be at each other's throats by now, fighting about who's in charge of feeding the dogs today. Or maybe over someone hogging all the yellow legos to build a robot/spaceship/house. Instead, I have only to ask (once) for the stacks of folded clothes on top of the dryer to be put away, and it happens. There was minimum whining during our hike Tuesday. Yesterday's yard work was handled with happy cooperation between children responsible for pick up, mowing, and bagging. They even ate all vegetables last night.

It is possible this ceasefire is temporary. The High Museum has an exhibit of rare and beautiful cars on display, and they all want to go. The Allure of the Automobile could just be that strong. If the bickering doesn't start in the car on the way home though, I'm not sure how I'll handle it. It's a bit like waking up to find the laws gravity doesn't apply any more.

Supper Wars: Spaghetti with Sweet Potatoes & Ricotta

Another recipe from the Real Simple magazine Month of Easy Dinners. We've tried four or five over the past two weeks, and I'm sorting through photos to post while I can still remember what the kidlets had to say about them.

The first was the Gnocchi & Roasted Cauliflower, which garnered three positive reviews, one neutral, and one "why are you trying to kill me?" The good news is that all three children have now decided potatoes can be a part of pasta, and have asked if I'll make gnocchi again. (Though only one wants it served with the cauliflower next time.)

This time, Spaghetti With Sweet Potatoes & Ricotta. Stuck very close to the original, aside from making a little extra pasta, since I'm feeding more than four, and adding a few more dollops of ricotta at the end. Knew adding extra sweet potatoes would be pointless, since the two boys weren't going to eat more than one or two token bites of that ingredient.

It took 10-15 minutes to get the ingredients together and prepped.

While doing this, the water was heating for the pasta. Means this

recipe completely avoids pushing one of my big frustration buttons ofsupper-prep, the hurry-up-and-wait stage. Kept busy the whole time, and not just because I was being bombarded with homework questions from third, fifth and ninth grader.

Once the spaghetti was drained and set aside, I rinsed the pot and put it right back on the stove, with olive oil for the sweet potatoes & shallots. That's correct, same pot, which hits another high point of an "easy" meal... less cleanup!

While the potatoes & shallots cooked, I prepped broccoli for steaming, shaved parmesan, and chopped rosemary. (And came up with a 3rd grade level interpretation of wikipedia's entry on metamorphic rock, checked a math worksheet, and repeated "no, you may not watch tv" at least three times.)

By the time for adding pasta back to the pan, along with rosemary and scoops of ricotta, the kidlets were clearing away homework and setting the table. About the same time the last napkin was placed , the first plate was ready for the table.

Like with most meals which the adults like, this met with mixed reviews from the kidlets. B1 & B2 LOVED the ricotta, liked the flavor, but HATED the sweet potatoes. (This is after saying they liked the flavor of the pasta which had been tossed with the sweet potatoes... Ack!) DD was not a fan of the ricotta. Something about the texture when the ricotta is on it's own - she likes it as a filling for lasagna or in ravioli. She did like the sweet potatoes very much, though.

General kid consensus - neutral, leaning toward good-ish. If I want to make it again, that's okay, but could I please not give any of them the parts they don't like. Since this is a little difficult to do with something cooked all in the same pot, TOUGH. I will make it again, and they will eat exactly the same way as they did this time - token bite or two of the least favorite part, then scarfing down the rest.

The recipe in Real Simple says this meal takes 25 minutes. I didn't get it prepped and cooked in 25 minutes. In a perfect world, working in a perfectly ordered kitchen, quiet children studiously doing homework with nary a question, sure. But even at 35-40 minutes start-to-finish, this is still a keeper for easy suppers.

Where's the AT-HOME in Stay-At-Home-Mom?

I'm going through a bit of a transition right now... becoming the SAHM I've never been, aside from time right around the births of the children. The current state of the economy has many of my clients deciding to make-do with older maps or more generic versions they can get on line. This made the last six months very good for scaling back as the contract income dwindled.

I started to worry a bit during the last couple of projects about what I'd do with myself when I didn't have to answer to clients or meet deadlines. Figured once the house was clean, I'd have big chunks of time each day for running, riding or studying. (My version of bon-bons & soaps.) Also figured it would be a great time to start figuring out what would be next. (Enrolling in school - either for personal growth or future dream career?)

Oops.

Turns out keeping myself busy shouldn't have been on the list at all. I don't think I've had a full day at home since the beginning of the school year.

First there's the move, and some changes in the family dynamics causing good deal of upheaval. (Some of this should be dying down soon, once the boxes are unpacked, the rain stops long enough to seal crack in basement floor, and the teen is enrolled in the HS down the street.)

Second, third & fourth, there's the three children in two different schools. (Next year, it will be three - ES/MS/HS.) Charter schools, which require volunteer time. One hour at one school, three hours at the other may sound like only four hours, but it's really a full day commitment, by the time you figure in travel time between, along with being in the right place at the right time for regular school pickup. Then there's the volunteer opportunities which pop-up unexpectedly. Once you volunteer last minute for a couple of different things, then you're known as being "flexible" about hours. Being "flexible" puts you on email lists.

Maybe all this running about is a good thing for making the transition. When things finally calm down enough that there are stay-at-home days, it'll feel more like a blissful mini-vacation, and less like a time to panic about losing a sense of purpose. Contemplating the future in a relaxed state of mind ought to make coming up with ideas more a creative process of figuring "want to do" without as much worry about what I "need to do." (MizFit's posts so far this week have me thinking about making those future plans with the What would you do if you couldn't fail? question in mind.)

That's the future. For today, I'm getting the fans and wet/dry vac ready for the next 24 hours of heavy rain. Tomorrow's cross training workout will be bailing out the basement and pulling carpet... should that count as cardio, or weights?

Grocery Budgets

I'm weeks behind in getting the information typed up. No good reasons, just excuses. I started keeping the lists on Google Documents, instead of in AppleWorks, and I really like it. At least I think I like it - I'm lousy with spreadsheets. Odd, because I'm quite good at working with the data once it's in there, but I can mess up a template and formulas during setup faster than my 3rd grader.

Average weekly grocery bills for my family of five has continued to drop. As of the end of this week (39), it's down to $125.69. Means the per person is roughly $25/week, and that is not too shabby. (It can get better though, especially once I have the pantry for bulk rice, oat, and flour purchases, beginning in two weeks.) The totals for a couple of weeks are going to be great for pulling down my average for a week of groceries for a family of five. In getting ready to move, the fridge, freezer and pantry emptied out. The new house is only 5-10 minutes away, but still don't want to carry anything we don't have to.

I'm still figuring out the whole sharing thing on google docs. In theory, I can set these nifty links, and anyone can click over to see the shopping list.

Week 38

Week 39

The more interesting part of my catch-up will have to go up tomorrow. We've built up a decent number of kid-approved recipes during the 8-9 months of Try Something New Dinner, aka Supper Wars. We're not trying new recipes quite as many days each week, but there have been three pretty successful new additions over the last couple weeks. Want to take the time to post links, as they are really well worth trying. As of this moment, I need to get to bed. Have to make up my long run tomorrow morning, since I didn't get out in the heavy rain after B1's cross country meet.

Tourism by Detours - Capulin Volcano, NM

Now that I've managed to recover most of the vacation photos lost during the unfortunate home invasion and electronics theft, I'm able to pick back up with some of the "off the beaten path" stops along the cross country trip. There are a few things I'll need to dig up other people's photos for, since not everything was recovered, but there's enough to get started.

We're big fans of exploring. Simply going to someplace and back may be fine for some folks, but not this family. We like to scour maps and read the state guides picked up at welcome centers to find interesting stuff along the way. Sometimes, it takes just a roadside marker to pull us off course. When we headed out for the Summer 2009 Road Trip, we had a few specific destinations firmly set:

• The Gateway Arch in St. Louis
• Grandma's house in Alma, NE
• Grandpa's house, Garden of the Gods, and Pike's Peak in Colorado Springs, CO
• Capulin Volcano, NM

That last destination was a roadside marker which screamed interesting stuff during the last trip home from Colorado. We saw the marker for Capulin Volcano just before dusk on a very chilly evening in late December. There was no time to stop then, but it did go down on the mental checklist for our next trip.

This time, we planned for the Volcano and built an extra day or two into the drive home along a southern route (CO-NM-TX-LA-MS-AL-GA).

From Sangres.com:

Capulin Volcano is the cone of a volcano that was last active about 56,000 to 62,000 years ago. This volcano represents the last stage of a great period of volcanism that had begun about 7 million years earlier. Evidence of this activity can be seen in the scores of nearby volcanic hills and peaks. The largest of these is Sierra Grande, an extinct volcano rising some 2,200 feet above the surrounding plain, about 10 miles to the southeast. To the northwest of Capulin are a number of mesas that are capped with lava, the three largest of which are Barela, Raton and Johnson Mesas.

Lava erupted in four flows, each separated by long periods of inactivity. The last series of eruptions created Capulin Volcano, whose conical form rises more than 1,000 feet above its base to 8,182 feet above sea level. The mountain consists chiefly of loose cinders, ash and other rock debris. These materials were spewed out by successive eruptions and fell back on the vent, piling up to form the conical mound. The lava, though, flowed mostly from a boca (spanish for mouth) on the lower west side of the cinder cone.

Sounds pretty darn cool, especially if you have boys who like rocks and a girl who likes to carry a camera. Plus, in keeping with the current fun on a budget that is so important, $5 gets you a pass for the whole family. The pass is good for seven days, but even if you're only using it for one day, it's a heck of a deal for a family of five.

If you wonder whether a location on our official trip plan should really count as a detour, not only was this destination inspired by a roadside marker, we had to wait on two separate occasions along the two lane highway for cows to clear the road. Any travel that can be delayed by livestock automatically counts on my detour destination list. Now...

'Too windy, but really cool' is how the kids would describe it now, but the hike around the rim of the crater and into the center was actually filled with many exclamations of wonder.

• Swarming ladybugs
• Scrub trees that were completely engulfed in silk and blue caterpillars.
• Rounding the top of the crater rim to be smacked by the wind so hard you swayed on your feet.
• The bench with hole and scorch marks from lightning strikes at the top of the rim trail.
• Time Stains (Lichen) - discussion about this tied back into what we'd learned about which colors are edible on the trip up to Pike's Peak.
• The many lizards, too fast to be caught on camera, and
  
• Finding so much color & life, smack in the middle of an ancient volcano in the desert.

Where did the week go?

Between meetings with teachers about one child (yes, THOSE types of meetings), completely insane destructive puppy antics (4 months is apparently "normal" time for it), Open House at the HS, Parent University at the ES, and three-out-of-five family members spending a day or two at home with a cold, I just looked at the calendar and noticed tomorrow is Friday!

I know time is supposed to fly when you're having fun, but I'm not so sure the person who came up with that gem had this kind of fun in mind at the time. Think I'll choose another old saying for this week. Thanks to how quickly it ripped by, it was like taking off a band-aid.

I have a great set of photos to post from this past Sunday. By great, I'm speaking as the proud parent of the eight year old who is experimenting with angles, zoom and light. The photos are not as good as some of the shots she took at the Atlanta Botanical Garden last month, but that has a lot to do with being knocked about by a puppy who is quickly approaching her weight division.

Eek! I've exceeded my flickr uploads for September. Will have to add the pictures as a short slide show AFTER I sign up for the pay service. That'll be in the morning. Right now, I'm going to bed.

But before I do...
Waiting to hear the word about the last couple pieces falling into place on the house. Closing in two weeks, moving in three. Should Clifford and his canine equivalent of the terrible twos not be a thing of the past by then, we're all looking forward to opening the kitchen door and shooing both dogs outside for 20-30 minutes of Peter's favorite game. No name for the game yet, but here's the playbook:

1. Peter T. Dog runs as fast as he can in a circle.
2. Almost lets Clifford catch up.
   
3. Turns around and runs directly at the puppy.
4. Clifford stops short, and goes tail over head.
   
5. Peter leaps over him in a graceful arc.
6. Prance happily away, while Clifford looks around in confused state.
7. Repeat.

I can post a single photo directly to blogger, even if flickr hates my little batch of photos. With the larger, FENCED, yard, frequent intervals of the game ought to wear Clifford out better than the 1.5-2 mile walk/run or 10 minutes of tag on a leash.

Supper Wars: Moroccan Beef Stew

Try this recipe from Mike's Table.

Scale back on the peppers, if you are catering to those with mild tastes, like my kidlets, but simmer up this stew.

Now.

Seriously.

The recipe is a bit long, which can seem daunting at first, but only until you realize the steps are written with loads of detail. There's plenty of beautiful photos to show you how it should look along the way (like the lovely one shown here). Substitutions are pretty easy, and he's great about suggesting ways to adjust the spices to suit your flavor preferences.

I didn't have any preserved lemons, so my helper squeezed some fresh lemon juice in when adding the broth and red wine. It was delicious. The boys weren't fans of the chickpeas, but DD thought they were pretty good.

Promised the kidlets pizza tomorrow, but I can't wait to eat the leftovers with brown rice crisps (Rice Works - picked up at Costco), topped with fresh chopped cilantro.

We get it, already - kids are expensive!

What the heck is going on out there that I am finding so many articles and opinion pieces about children being too costly? Yesterday, the Ben Stein column in Fortune. Today, I read two posts in a row at Boston Gal's blog with links to stories on the opportunity costs of children.

Finances Before Family
The Boston Globe story: Money before baby? has reporter Jessica Cerretani confessing that the great recession has done more than just shrink her 401(k) balance or jeopardize her financial security. It may have torpedoed her plans to ever have a biological child.

--------------

Advice given through lens of economic principles
The NPR story: Priceless Advice From 'The Undercover Economist' interviews Financial Times advice columnist Tim Harford who answers readers questions from a ruthless economic-consideration-first perspective. The interview provides a excerpt from his book (based on six years of advice columns)and below is one column that seemed to go along with yesterday's post.

Dear Economist,

I'm an ambitious woman in my midtwenties, just starting what I hope will be a stellar career in business. But I also very much want to have at least one child. How long should I wait?

Yours sincerely,

Ms. E. Jones

Dear Ms. Jones,

Mothers seem to do worse in the labor market than women without children, but that might not be simple cause and effect. For instance, it might indicate that women who expected successful careers delayed having children, but the delay was not the cause of the success.

It all seems imponderable, but it isn't. Amalia Miller, an economist at the University of Virginia, studied the timing of maternity and its effect on earnings. That effect is large: delay maternity by just one year, and you can expect your career earnings to rise by 10 percent, partly because you will work longer hours and partly because you will enjoy a better wage rate. For professionals like you, the wage effect is even higher.

Ugh. I feel the compelling need at this point to defend my three children and the pre-30s timing by pointing out the non-monetary compensation they bring to my life. Call it silly, but there is something quite wonderful about the social, emotional and spiritual richness of my life which I'd not have had without them. There's plenty of time for career and travel later. After all, 50 might just turn out to be the new 25 by the time I get there.

Assessing the net value of children

I saw the link to a Fortune article by Ben Stein at Wenchypoo's site. She quoted the article:

"People in a free society will choose to have more of something if its return exceeds its cost. On the other hand, people in a free society will choose to have less of a good or service if its value is less than its cost."

Having become increasingly interested over the past few years in those things related to the dismal science of economics, this is not the first time I've seen a statement like that. Having read about falling birth rates in western nations, the concept of applying the phrase to child rearing wasn't new, either. And Ben Stein often manages to get me to think about things in a slightly different light. What? Can I place a value on the kidlets? I was intrigued. So I read.

"What is the value of a child in modern Western industrial society? More specifically, what is the value of a middle-class or upper-middle-class or upper-class child in America? And does this have anything to do with the fact that the birth rate among American women has been falling for decades and that the age of first childbirth among educated women is far higher than among less-well-educated women?

Start with economics. People in a free society will choose to have more of something if its return exceeds its cost. On the other hand, people in a free society will choose to have less of a good or service if its value is less than its cost.

Now, what is a modern child? Obviously, not a good or service, but something more and also something less. Long ago, as we all know, humans had children because they liked having sex and because children had some value as assistant hunters and gatherers and keepers of the hearth."

Goes on into the evolution of society, the move past needing many additional hands for hunting or farming, and the modern day wonders of contraception. Then, Stein gets into what makes modern middle-upper class children so costly:

"...raising modern children is such a major pain in the neck. For one thing, thanks to a variety of factors, often parents have to struggle like galley slaves to get their offspring into private schools and pay for them.

The private school parent also has to pony up for every kind of lesson -- ballet, horse, and music lessons, math tutoring, and chess club. The parent also has to drive the little ones to all of these events as well as to the "play dates" that lurk like unanesthetized colonoscopies in modern life. Then there is the most horrible event a healthy upper-middle-class American can have: social engagements with the parents of Junior's classmates.

In other words, we are talking about child rearing as part unpaid chauffeur, part torture."

One thing I'd like to clarify - it's not just private school parents. Parents utilizing the charter and magnet public schools pay for the private lessons, buy uniforms, buy/sell fundraising merchandise, join countless groups which ask for donations from members often, meet volunteer requirements at the school, drive to all the events... and are expected to all of this cheerfully, because we're not paying private school tuition.

"...part unpaid chauffeur, part torture." I love that line. Then there's college. After four (or more) years of paying lots of money to institutions of higher learning, what do you end up with?

"a son with a law degree who cannot get a job, a daughter with a film-school degree who works as a masseuse, or a musician who keeps you up all night with his drums."

Ooh. Goody. I have three children, so could potentially end up with all three of those hypotheticals trying to move back home in their 20s. Can't wait.

To be fair, Stein does point out that not all children grow up to be complete ingrates, with the sense of entitlement of a two year old's "MINE!" phase. His son, of course, is the exception. I may not disagree with his conclusions in the article, but I can't say it brings many pleasant thoughts, either:

"The costs and benefits of having children in affluent America are wildly off kilter. Too much cost, too little reward. Often the cost-benefit analysis of children prints out "Get a German shorthaired pointer instead."

Many people are doing that, and the birth rate is collapsing. But if we stop having enough children, because their value is so low relative to their cost, the society grinds down. It's happening right now. The native-born upper middle class barely replace themselves in America, if they do at all. In a way we are committing suicide as a class, possibly in part because of the burdens of child rearing in modern life.

What is the net present value of a child in modern America? Often, it's difficult to find much, and thereby hangs a question mark over our future as a nation, at least as we have known it."

Best laid (race) plans

That autumn schedule of races I'd carefully put together? Two or three events each month for September, October and November.

It's gone. Out the window. Kaput.

Most have been dropped due to B1's cross country schedule, which every Saturday but one filled through the first half of November. Two have been dropped because of new house and move plans. Both are extremely good reasons, so I can't complain. Wait. Yes, I can complain, but I won't. Except for a brief whine about one.

I'm not exactly thrilled about dropping the Midnight Flight 5k/10k off my calendar. (With all the last minute documents to find for the loan paperwork, the home inspection and contingency back-and-forth, it's just not a great idea to head out early on Friday for that first race on the schedule.) It's a fun night race, just far enough out of town that I have to spend the night and take Saturday morning to sleep in, soak in the tub, and take myself to a lazy brunch before the drive back to Atlanta. I'd planned to run the two races back-to-back, using the 5k as a warm up for the 10k. (The first mile or two of any run are always the blah miles, so I figured I'd be fully coordinated by the 11pm start time of the 10k.)

Depending on how the birthday parties, end-of-summer pool parties and requested sleep overs shake out over the next few days, I may still fit in a race this Labor Day weekend. The 10k Classic is on Labor Day, just a few miles from here, and is supposed to be a challenging, hilly course.

And, until something else pops up, here's the scaled back schedule. There may be a couple of 5k races added with the kidlets, during the off-week for cross country, or on Saturdays when B1's events are in the afternoon.

9/7 - 10k Classic (Maybe)
10/4 - Locomotive Half & 5k, Kennesaw
10/31 - Silver Comet Half Marathon
11/26 - Atlanta Half Marathon

A few hours over the next week will go into making a training plan with the October 31 and Thanksgiving Day half marathons as the main focus. The Locomotive HM on October 4th is going to be a practice run (in place of long run for the week) for the other two HMs. Treated Run the Reagan that way back in February, and it turned out to be a great race.

On a what the heck am I thinking? note, I took advantage of the discount for super-early registration for the ING on March 21, 2010. I signed up for the full marathon this time around. After all, I have 199 days, 22 hours and 14 minutes to prepare. What could possibly go wrong?

BDW: The Big Darn* Week, Part 1

*Note my toned-down language, lest I be forced to drop a dollar in the jar. (It's quarters for most people, but I had to make it expensive enough to hurt.)

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...

Of the three open houses on Sunday - when we saw the peacock - one house had the right number of bedrooms, plus an extra. It has a two car garage, with extra space for the stable of bicycles. It has recently (last 3-5 years) replaced HVAC, water heater, and roof. It's brick. All of the appliances were part of the remodel a few years ago, so stay with the house. It's on an acre (1.05, to be precise), and about a third of of that is fenced with a solid privacy fence.

It had also been on the market for six months or more, with two price drops. The owners moved to their new home a couple months ago, so were carrying two houses. There had been no offers, as any interested parties had existing homes to sell first. We're heading into autumn, and then to the s-l-o-w winter months.

Made an offer. They countered with a slightly lower price. Made a new offer. Same price, but closing by the end of September. They dropped the price to meet halfway between, and a deal was struck. In roughly five weeks - assuming everything goes well with inspection, of course - this will be where I spend my days:


Note that while there is a desk in the kitchen, for my recipe-checking, bill-paying and blogging convenience, there is not a washer or dryer in the kitchen. I have been "okay" with the layout of the 1950s kitchen in our rented house for three years now, but have never quite gotten used to washing socks, underwear and towels in such clothes (ooh! I'm keeping that accidental word choice) quarters to food prep surfaces.

There's a great deal of excitement among the other family members, too, because of a permanent playhouse in the backyard, proximity to school friends and the playroom in the basement where the second TV will be hooked up to the older gaming systems.... but this isn't their slice of the web now, is it?

More about the week later. B1's first cross country event. The scramble to reschedule B2's birthday party.
An absolutely horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad morning which was turned completely around, thanks to a tweet from MizFit, and the realization that I'm now the thing which I never imagined myself becoming. One of those people. You know, the mom of a teen, approaching 40... middle-aged.

Holy crap, a peacock!

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to monitor your language around the kids, it just slips out.

Driving to an open house Sunday afternoon, in a very ordinary suburban neighborhood of 1960's brick ranch houses, green lawns, kids and dogs, was one of those times. The kids were shocked out of their general state of back seat lolling and lazy bickering, and readying their rebuke for word choice when they noticed...


That's right. Holy crap, a peacock.

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Trying to sneak off for a morning bike ride, before anything can pop up on my [currently] open schedule. Is cool and beautiful in an early Autumn way, so staying inside would be torture. Have my audiobook (The Color of Magic, Terry Pratchett) for this week all queued up, along with an episode of The Thomas Jefferson Hour and the latest Liberty Conspiracy - just in case I don't feel like a book - and the iPhone fully charged.

Extreme Frugality

I've been pretty proud of my efforts to cut the grocery bills from the highs of a couple of years ago - a little over $200/week. And that $200/week was when I was shopping the sales at the big grocers, and taking advantage of coupons from the Sunday paper.

I'm not a coupon shopper anymore, and generally do the shopping at Whole Foods and Trader Joes, with less frequent trips to the big grocers, costco and the farmers market. Doing things this way, you don't exactly have a Sunday sales flyer to use while building your weekly menu and shopping list. It's working better than I'd thought when I started changing the way I shopped.

With the couple of months, I've been able to pull the average weekly spending to under $130/week for our family of five. As the temps cool, and baking all of our bread becomes practical again, it'll keep dropping. In fact, if I can keep my $110 & under weeks going, we should be on track for a below $120/week average by the end of the year. Being below the USDA "frugal" spending levels was - I thought - quite the accomplishment.

Until I read about the Z-day Challenge. W. Hodding Carter, a writer for Gourmet, has spent the summer growing vegetables, stocking the freezer with a quarter-cow, and prepping for a month with Zero Spending.

That's right. ZERO spending.

I realized the moment of truth had arrived. The Z-Day Challenge, our personal anti-stimulus project. For the entire month of September, we’re spending ZERO dollars. We’re ready. Our garden’s ready.

It’s our civic duty.

As some of you may remember, I’ve theorized (read ranted) that spending our way out of this current mess is wrong. To me, it’s like putting an overweight person on a 1,000 calorie-a-day diet of ice cream. It may work in the short term, but it’s definitely not healthy in the long run. We need to remember—or in most cases, learn—how to save money, pay off our debts, and become one with reality: The party has now been over for quite a while.

So, on August 31, after topping off the cars and stocking up on groceries and a month’s worth of animal feed, we’re migrating to Unamerica—a land where misers are heroes and spendthrifts are scorned. A land of limited horizons and very little opportunity. A land where … well, you get the idea. I know this sounds like a gimmick since we have a fairly full pantry, nearly a quarter of a cow in our freezer, and we will still pay our monthly bills, but answer this: What’s the longest you’ve ever gone while living your normal daily life without buying something? Think about it. Be honest. A month? A week? A day? For me, during this frugal year, I’ve lasted around two to three days. But I want to do better. It’s time to shake off the shackles and see what it’s like without consuming.

Wow.

At first glance it seems like a big plunge. Heck, it seems like a big plunge at second & third glance, too. But, I've started reading the beginning of the Extreme Frugality series, published back in February.

For years, Lisa had been telling me we were living beyond our means. “Please, please, Hodding, don’t buy that hand-carved black walnut countertop!” she’d implore. In fact, once she even kicked me out of the house for nine months in hopes that I’d wake up. But like that alcoholic who downs yet another Two-Buck-Chuck, I wasn’t ready. I knew that my next book was going to be an international bestseller and I felt entitled to live as did my father (although he was 25 years older than I) and all those successful, happy people in ads and on TV. Here I was, though, finally seeing the raw truth. Our average combined income—drum roll, please—for the past decade had been … $41,000. Thanks to those heady days of refinancing, deft shuffling of credit-card debt, deceased grandparents, and a lucrative house sale, however, we had lived, year after year, as if we were making $120,000. Like 70 percent of our fellow Americans, we were living off our VISA cards with no means of paying them off any time soon. As a result, we had $75,000 in credit-card debt and owed $245,000 on a $289,000 house. What had I been thinking?

Never mind. I’ll sort out the “why” on my therapist’s couch. Right now, it’s time to do the unthinkable. It’s time for us to be more like our grandparents and less like our neighbors. (Ninety percent of us buy something we don’t need every month, and Americans in all walks of life—except the very rich—carry $961 billion of credit-card debt at any given moment, paying $1.22 for every $1 they spend.) For the first time ever, my family is going to do the unthinkable. We’re going to live within our means. No matter what we actually make, we’re only going to spend $41,000 for the entire year. In other words, after paying our mortgage, taxes, insurance, and the $500 to service our credit-card debt, our family of six is going to live on $550 a month.

After mortgage and credit card payments, $550, for a family of six. Again, Wow.

I am a lightweight, a pansy, in comparison to this family. I intend to keep reading my way through the year, and see which lessons I can carry over into my family's habits. (Not raising chickens for eggs though. Even if there weren't zoning laws about livestock intown, I do not want to clean up a henhouse. Been there, done that, and glad to buy my veggie-fed, no-cage eggs at the store.)

Still, there's probably a lot more I can do, and next month is probably a good time to try it. After all, it was last September that I embarked on trying out a variation of the $100 Grocery Challenge, where I upped the amount to $125, to reflect the five members of my family, rather than the four in the original article. Maybe, if I can spend the next week doing some serious planning and sensible stocking up, I can try a month of Semi-Extreme Frugality. It won't be zero spending, but maybe I can treat it like a limbo... how low can you go?

Being your own superhero

Carla, aka MizFit has an excellent post today which asks the question "How have you acted as your own superhero lately?" She opens it with a story about her toddler tornado daughter at the park which is just marvelous. It's one of those snippets which bring to mind all the breakthrough moments with my kids as I saw them growing into their personalities.

I love that MizFit keeps coming back around to the topic of self-image. Being your own superhero is a great message for me to repeat to the kids. All three have strengths, and I'd like them to focus on those as they head into the awkward years of middle and high school. I don't want to overdo it, and build a Stuart Smalley self-affirmation into their heads, but I do want them all to think of things in terms of balance, and bringing their best to the effort in whatever they try.

It's not going to be easy. With my daughter, it's an external thing - she's worried about what other girls think about her. From coming home in tears because a friend thought her bookbag was ugly, to being upset that she has a tougher time with multiplication facts than a couple of her other friends... it's a challenge.

In the case of the bookbag, I reminded her that she likes the bag, and picked it because it makes her happy to see the little bird & tree stitched on it. It's okay if somebody else doesn't like it, because it's not theirs. And, when she thought about it, DD admitted she didn't really care for the other girl's backpack, because it wasn't a color she likes as well. It gave me a chance to point out that one of DDs strengths is that she doesn't judge others based on silly things like backpack patterns.

With anything she brings up as a failing, I try not to patronize her by giving her the automatic "you're great" speech. If she's having a tough time with math, or with running, or art class - I remind her that she's great with science and language arts. She may not be able to run longer distances, but she can sprint like crazy, is a strong swimmer, and is a fantastic companion on long(ish) bike rides. With drawing, multiplication tables, and piano it takes practice. She'll keep getting better, or figure out she likes something else better - like photography and flute.

With the boys, it's more of an internal thing. They are their own worst critics. With them, it's a matter of reminding them they need to keep trying at the tough things - in school, sports and in plain old life. One of two things will happen. They'll either improve through practice to kick butt & love what they used to struggle with, OR find some other aspect of it they do love, and kick butt at that, instead.

B2 will beat himself up about anything less than perfect, and can talk himself into giving up before ever trying. He often has to be shoved - I mean gently nudged - into things. I can't count the times I've said "You're right - you might suck at [fill in the blank]. But you might not. You might even really be great at it. If you don't try, you'll never know."

B1 has a healthier attitude, and tends to shrug off his doom-n-gloom after a few minutes, then try - or try again. He's also very encouraging of others, and is always willing to throw in 110% to help out. (I love this about him.)

Oh, dear - I ended up rambling all over the place. What I was trying to get at is that MizFit's superhero approach is perfect for helping the kids shape their outlook on life. It's great for me, too. Just like comic book superheroes, we all have abilities and strengths that make us great at some things. With the areas in which we excel, there's also our fatal flaws and weaknesses. The trick is to focus on the things that make you super, and use those strengths to help you work on the other stuff.

And, if you're completely stuck... that's what a league of Superfriends are for.

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Along this theme, MizFit's post reminded me of a song by Steve Burns, Mighty Little Man. It's from his album Songs for Dustmites, and it always makes me smile.



When the kidlets were smaller, there would be a victory run through the house anytime this song popped up in the playlist. Sometimes, the 1st grader (B1) would lead the laps around the house, sometimes not. The toddler B2 would run around, arms over his head, like he was crossing the finish line, singing the chorus at the top of his little voice. The not-yet-walking DD would bounce in her high chair, walker, or spot on the living room floor, waving her arms and "singing" along.

This time tomorrow...

This time tomorrow, I'll be getting back from my morning run. The house will be quiet, and seem quite large.

I will enjoy my second cup of coffee hot, since I won't be forgetting it at the site(s) of mid morning kid spats which have been so common this summer.

News reading, blogging, weekly meal planning, errand running and even laundry folding will be done with the ability to finish a complete thought.

And, by 2:25 tomorrow afternoon, I will be very happy to start the rounds for picking up my noisy gang. I'm looking forward to hearing about old friends, new teachers and all the excitement of the new school year.